For The Love Of Fred: Growing Online Dating Relationships

Can you keep a secret…? Secrets are facts that possess the ability to either make something or break it. I choose to share this secret with you cause it could help make your online dating experience memorable.

I want to tell you about Fred of blessed memory, God rest his soul. Whom I lost to the recent global pandemic. We shared everything together including his top secrets, one of which I have chosen to share with you as a way of keeping him alive in your heart and mine.

First, let me tell you about Fred. Fred was a real estate agent who took his job rather too seriously. We all had to suffer for this, as Fred had no social life, all he did was centred around work, family and lucky me.

A little history on how Fred and I met; we attended the same college and in my freshman year, I am head over heels for a girl, let’s call her Light, because it almost looked as though she was so bright when she entered the room.

Fred was also lost in his wishes for her, but being fresh heads from high school, were not mentally equipped for her.

So, Fred tried to use his brilliance which could only take him so far. And being his equal, mind-wise, it was my only advantage against rich kids, handsome and talented kids, I took my books seriously.

It didn’t take us too long to notice we were rivals with the same strategy. With defeat on both sides, so glaring, we had to join forces for good.

Light transferred to another school after our first college year due to her outstanding singing skill, so Fred and I could see each other clearly after our “love interest” was gone.

Fast forward to graduation day, we were about to start a new phase of life, although Fred was an introvert; I always found a way under his skin and the fear of him starting all over with new friends kept us in touch with each other even after school.

It’s been six years past graduation. And it’s Fred’s 30th birthday at the weekend.

Fred’s in Lyon because of work, and I, so eager to see Fred, take a short leave from work to be there.

For me, it’s catching up with Fred, and it’s also a business meeting with some intending associates. I am actually a football scout for the Fulham football club.

I am in high expectations to meet up with Fred after what looked like a lifetime. “Distance actually does sharpen love” or as we say “ absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Landed in Lyon! Ahh! Yes! It’s a great place to be in. The exquisite taste of the wine here has been a constant itch on my tongue, but duty calls first at Hotel Campanile Lyon Center Gare Perrache Confluence. The hotel Fred has picked for his party.

Questions pop up in my mind- “how many friends does Fred have now? “ And why is this birthday celebration this big?”.

Could it be a marriage proposal or something? If it was, I wouldn’t want to miss this for any reason.

After all, he didn’t know I was gonna surprise him with my presence.

As I made my way towards the restaurant with a label that read “Global Housing Award ceremony” and Fred’s picture was splashed on the side of the poster.

Well, it turns out to be an award party celebrating his dedication to work at his agency, knowing fully well, it was his birthday and he probably had other plans for his day.

The faces present are his colleagues and me. No family, no other friends. Just us and Fred.
And as soon as he spots me, he leaps with so much joy as I walk in that his associates commented that he has never been this happy.

We sat together, the party started and obviously, he was awarded “best closer for the company worldwide”.

But yet, it’s just Fred and I celebrating this.
And what if I couldn’t be there to cheer with him? So many questions to ask, so little time at present.

The event is over, everyone leaves and it’s just Fred, me and of course a bottle of my choice French wine. Ahh! the joy of drinking it while we catch up on all that has happened in the past six years.

Well, it turns out, Fred’s been really busy just as I had imagined and no time for anything or anyone but work. Typical!

he asks me about family, this is going to be my ultimate shot at Fred I cannot miss.

They say fine wine brings out your true self and we just about had enough for truth and honesty.

I told him about my family and that I was getting married by the end of the year. Then I popped the same question and he said “I really don’t have time to create and nurture a relationship”.

He explains how work moves him all over the globe and the tangible things he can have time for are his electronic devices.

Then I ask, “have you tried searching for relationships on your device?”

Originally trying to be sarcastic, turns out it made sense to a tipsy man, but he tries to explain how time, communication, privacy and his anti-social lifestyle would hinder him from dating online or offline.

And the look he gets from me – says “now that you know the challenge it will be easier to fix it.”

The good thing is that he promised to give it a try.

Well, I don’t see Fred again after that night.

Fast forward to my bachelor’s eve and Fred shows up with Meghan. And there is a glow on the face of Fred that wasn’t there months ago.

As the clock winds down to the wedding day, Fred takes the mic, walks up to me and says… “thank you”.

Now I am curious and Fred, knowing that some guys from college days were at the party told me, “this will be our secret” – he didn’t want to be seen as the guy who found love online, as he had always been called a coward back in the day.

It’s been eighteen years since Fred died, Meghan has two teenage girls. The only way of keeping Fred alive is telling you Fred’s success with online dating.

Time – This is said to be man’s most prized asset, the only medium of exchange that cannot be recovered when lost. So, for a man like Fred he understood the role of time in any and everything. Fred had to restructure his daily tasks to include his online relationship growth. Fred will give one hour during the day and another hour at night to either stay in touch with his online date or research her preferences. Her best meals, culture, and any other related information. This made their conversations very rich and made Meghan always eager for their next chats.

Communication – Fred and I were able to make it this far because we always kept in touch. One thing I learnt from him was his ability to make communicating with him rich as he was widely read. There was almost no subject Fred was not informed on, this earned him the title “Dr Fred”.

Privacy – It feels strange talking about privacy while I am sharing our secret, however, I want to be accountable for my decisions and bare it all out.
Fred understood privacy so much, that I only knew of his relationship status when we sat face to face. Considering I was his only friend, that explained a lot.

I got Meghan’s consent before I published this and she told me some part of the story from her view. She said Fred almost never asked any question that invaded her privacy. At some point, she found him worthy of some private information.

Share online and offline fun times – I knew three versions of Fred- the fighter who wanted a girl I had in mind, a soft reserved college boy with no pictures and no other friends. And lastly, a married man with loads of energy to distribute.

When I asked Meghan where did things change, she said she liked extra details added to things they talked about, so Fred was on a constant loop to always keep her updated. His pictures always told more than a thousand words.

This I could title; For the love of Fred and I hope this secret makes your online experience as outstanding as Fred’s.

Now, what if you’re looking for a serious relationship that lasts? What if you just don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day ever again? What if you’re over casual dating and just want someone consistent to come home to? What if you have no idea where to start? 

Can you really fall in love with someone online?

Yes! You can!

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